YOU GET OUT OF HERE NUMBER 23!
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:22:58 AM): hahaha ok so a mile from our house or so is a coffee shop that is attached in the same building to a restaurant/yuppy bar
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:23:10 AM): before we had internet at the house thats where i use to go steal my internet
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:23:21 AM): and at night id go and sit outside there and use the internet at some of the tables they have
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:23:43 AM): we had been up at UK playing basketball and i had left m ybike locked up there so i got my friends to drop me back off there this is around 1 in the morning so bar is hopping
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:23:59 AM): and im sitting under some steps at a table (there are steps outside that lead up to another business upstairs)
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:24:13 AM): and this drunk guy in a cycling outfit stumbles by and is like "im gonna piss on you bush!"
stopandthink (12:24:25 AM): HAHAH
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:24:29 AM): and then i hear foosteps on the stairs coming up above me and i was like oh ok hes gonna go to the top and piss over the edge onto the bushes
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:24:43 AM): andim half thinking im like...hes......not gonna stop right in the middle on the steps and piss is he?
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:24:48 AM): naaaaah no way he wouldnt
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:25:01 AM): and im already half outta my seat just in cse and then i feel drop drop
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:25:41 AM): i dont really know how to explain the ammt of rage and hostility that becomes instantly unleashed if someone just managed to piss on your head
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:26:07 AM): so i tear up the steps screaming at him
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:26:13 AM): hes completelty trashed and starts apologizing
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:26:32 AM): i just keep screaming at him everytime he apologizes to shut his fucking mouth and no you cant fucking im sorry pissing on someones fucking head fuck you
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:26:40 AM): keeps apologizing i keep interuptting him
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:26:50 AM): finaly he got agitated that i was interuptting him and he swung at me
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:27:17 AM): and up to this point
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:27:22 AM): i was so pissed i didnt even kno what to do
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:27:31 AM): like when you are so mad nothing clicks
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:27:40 AM): but the moment he tried to swing everything clicked in
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:28:30 AM): insert a bunch of punches to the face here, unloaded half a can of mace directly into the face, threw him off the steps and into the brick wall at the bottom, dropkicked him from the step i was on and then stood on the ground taunting him and talking more shit
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:28:32 AM): nah just me
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:28:48 AM): if my brother had been there also or if my bike hadnt been locked up dude woulda easily landed in the hospital
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:28:54 AM): instead he just got his night royally fucked up
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:29:13 AM): he was standing at the bottom of the steps crying face covered in snot and holding his stomach/junk
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:29:40 AM): they have these big ass metal buckets also out there for people to put cigarettes out in i was about to throw one of those at his head and leave but someone got between us and saved his ass hahaha
(in regards to the dropkick)
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:29:51 AM): oh dude that was the cheesiest thing ive EVER done in a fight ever in my life hahahhaa
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:29:56 AM): from about the 6th step, hit him right in the lower stomach/dick area and the guy that was saving him...was training to be a cop and told his gf to go get a glass of water to flush his eyes... at this point i was like ok maybe i overreacted a lil and i warned the dude i was like you dont wanna pour a glass of water on his face right now
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:31:30 AM): and in the most over the top strained ass cop scream he was like YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND GO HOME NUMBER 23 IM TRAININ TO BE A COP I KNO WHAT IM DOING
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:31:55 AM): there were about 30 people outside watching it hahahaha and i know all the people that work there too, so the next night i got to hear updates...i was the talk of all the bars downtown for the next few days LOL
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:32:33 AM): the owner had came out to see what the commotion was and saw the dude on the ground fucked up and i was like uhhhh yeah about that i did that sorry
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:32:42 AM): and the guy was like WHAT YOU? you did that?
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:32:52 AM): (im literally there every night and i never bother a person hahha)
i told him what happened and he was like...he PISSED on you?! over there?! and laughed about the dude getting his ass beat. the guys that work the door were getting to work the next night and they came up and i thought i might get bitched at... athey were like man i just wanna shake your hand hahaha that shit RULED that fucker got what he deserved we deal with so many dumb fucks im glad to see one get his ass beat
found out he just laid there outside the door waitin for his friends to come out and they helped him into a cab and he just laid there for 30 minutes crying and holding his dick face covered in snot dumb and dumber style
they ended up getting abag of ice to put into his spandex shorts because it burned
((which i later figured out burned because the dumb wanna be cop poured a glass of water on his face, and made the mace run down his entire chest and junk area))
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:35:17 AM): and all while wearing a spandex cycling outfit!
XJesusDiedHAHAHX (12:36:29 AM): team xcock punchx 1 team drunk cyclist 0